Well it was three and half decades ago. I was accepted to one of the finnest universities in America and everything looked moving well. My family immigrated to America when I was 13. I wasn't an American citizen, my family wasn't rich and I did not have any particular talents, therefore I believed the only way I could succeed was to study hard and achive my objective. I really wanted to become an aerospace engineer. I've loved airplanes since I was a little kid. I wanted to find an air plane taking off I made. I researched so hard when I was in high school. As an immigrant, my English wasn't as great as other American children, so I had to study much harder. I worked and studied so hard and that I finally got accepted to a college I actually wanted to proceed. My parents were so proud of me and that I believed my dream was getting accurate.

But it was a month before my first semister started. I just moved from Seattle to Boston to go to university. It was a gorgeous city. The town was timeless. I enjoy the Red Sox and Fenway Park. I was a little bit excited and nervous about going to college so that I could not sleep that evening. I was watching TV until late and that I finally watched a FOREX commercial on TV. It was about an computer software that could produce a lot of profit. Individuals in the commercial stated that they make $3000 per week, $300 per day, and each of them looked very pleased. You all know that those TV advertisements are sc but that I do not know. I really don't know why. Maybe that was because I had no money at the time. However, I was lucky I did not have money to buy the app that costs several thousand dollars. I simply investigated about FOREX that day.


After understanding about what FOREX is, I got really surprised. It sounded so sweet. Markets open 24 hrs, high leverages, you may even make profits once the market is moving down.

I actually believed I could earn money very easily. I really believed I could be a millionaire. So I decided to withdraw from the university and started FOREX trading with my own tuition. I really believed I could earn lots of money in a year and could return to the faculty or go to another fine university. But it was the dumbist decision I've ever made in my life and that is when the nightmare started.


I blew up some commision fees but I obtained $30000 back from the faculty. I got so excited and wired $10000 for my broker. However, the problem is that I knew nothing about FOREX. You know what would happen next. I watched 1 min charts and sold when it went down a little bit and purchased when it went little. I'd like to buy 10 lots at one time and that I occasionally I lost $400 in only hours. I was really amazing the market always went against me. I blew up $10000 in two weeks. I got so depressed and disappointed. However, I never gave up. I wired $12000 again. Because I heard several lessons, I traded less quantity of volum at a time used several tricks I heard.... Well it lasted a little bit longer.... Three months.... I was only 19 and I lost $22000 in only four months.... It was just huge for me.

Properly.... I had to stop it at the time. But I could not. My parents believed I was going to college. My family is not rich. My father was a teacher and my mom was a housewife ahead of my family immigrated to the States. They started a small convenience store in Seattle after they landed in the nation. My college tuition was what my parents have saved for their whole life. They even told me they wouldn't have enough money for the second year in order that they would lend some money. They simply committed everything for me.


I simply could not state them that I fell out of college. I think the best thing I had to do would be to prevent trading with really money and go to college next year. If I actually wanted to do FOREX, I had to begin with a demo account and study it for a long time. However, I was dumb. I really wanted to be rich. I wanted to buy a car like my pals. I really wanted to buy my very own property. And I believed FOREX would make my dream come true. I was so dumb.

I kept trading with my real money and I blew up the remainder of the money I had in another few months. I had no money. I had no food. I had no money to pay my bills. But I could not say it to my parents. I started looking for a job and went outside. I finally found a job and I started working at a restaurant.


A couple of months later I got a job, my parents sent me the tuition for the second year. And that I wired 15000 of it to my FOREX broker and I started trading again. However, it always went against me. I lost money and agian. I tried to find a hint or a holy grail. I tried to find it so hard. I did everythin I could to find it. But no. It did not exist. After seven months of terrible trading, I lost all the money again.

I really don't know. It went bad. I got so depressed. I didn't need to live. I thought about suicide. I became tainted. After a while, I met with my old friend online and I found out that he moved into Canada. So I decided to go to Canada with the remainder of money I had.

. however, it became worse. At least I was eligible to work in the US however that I couln't even work in Canada. You want a social insurance number to work in Canada. However, I really don't have it. I'm neither a Canadian citizen nor the immigrant in Canada. I simply had to survive with the money that I brought from America. I moved back to Boston in a month.

Yet another year has been passed again. My parents called me they would send me a tuition again. I felt so sorry. And that I could not receive that money. But I could not say I wasn't going into the university neither. So I simply told them that I would move to a more affordable university. I lied it would be only $5000 per year.


I thought about heading back to college but it had been more than two and half years since I graduated from highschool. I forgot what I researched in highschool. I can't study all and choose SAT again. I was only busy to survive.

And I decided to go to Canada because their universities do not require your SAT score. I went to a university in Canada. The tuition was twice more expensive than what Canadians cover because I was an international student in Canada. Anyways I started using a computer science program. However, after taking one semister, I decided to have a year off and think about what I really have to do because it wasn't really what I wanted to study. I wanted to become an aerospace engineer.

After a while, I started FOREX trading again. I started with $3000 that time. I learned a few skills I heard out of online forums. I didn't eliminate money for a long time but I did not make much money neither. I earned $3000 to $3200 in a few months. But when CAD/USD was 1.10, '' I believed it was a nice opportunity to buy USD/CAD. I purchased massive quantity of USD/CAD. However, it fell to 0.91. I lost a lot of money but I thought it would go down more. I wired more money and sold massive quantity of CAD/USD this time. However, it went to 1.01 this time and I got a margin call and lost lots of money. You know I learned how to use a cease lose however I could not contol myself.

I'm completely broken now. I only have $500 in my bank account. They do not even let me work in Canada. I really don't know how to survive.

I do not know what to do now. I've been trading FOREX for more than three decades but I haven't learn much. It is hard. And I do not really need to risk my money again. It was harsh. I can study FOREX but it only makes me crazy and miserable everytime I see it as it reminds me all the money that I lost and everything I went through. I am simply busy to survive now.


And I got a call from my father two weeks ago. He explained that my mom got a cancer. It is merely harsh.

I really don't know. Maybe she could perish. And she would never know I did so and I can't even say . I feel so sorry.

I feel like I'm a bad man and I am a loser. I blew up the money my parents have saved for a long time. I blew up my dream.

I do not know what to do now. It is merely harsh. I'm so depressed. It is Christmas now and I'm just crying. I would like to drink some whiskey but I've save money to survive.